The Last Days of Summer
The twenties seem destined to be fraught with heartbreak, pain, and suffering; however, they are not without triumph, joy, and compassion. Miracles abound.
Early in twenty-twenty, a driver lost control of their vehicle and crashed into our church. Fortunately, he was well, but there was a hole in the side of the church. Even as I write this, the repairs are not fully complete in two-thousand twenty-two.
The whole world was hit in March when the reality of the pandemic hit. My children had gone on spring break in March, and we got a note that spring break would be extended and then extended again. Finally, they switched to virtual learning for the remainder of the year.
My pastor’s wife was diagnosed with cancer that summer and started chemo by the fall. She needed emergency surgery for her kidneys at one point, and they did another surgery to try and remove the mass they found. Things were looking good as she finished her chemo. Tests showed her cancer was under control, and they made plans to move to radiation treatment.
While this happened, I was preaching more and more as health concerns around the pandemic meant she could not attend services safely, and Pastor didn’t feel comfortable leaving her home alone.
By the summer of 2021, she had started having terrible ear pain. The doctors treated her for ear infections, but she became weaker and weaker. By August, Pastor was carrying her because she couldn’t walk. Eventually, the doctors found a huge mass in her brain. The day they found the mass, the family was told to say their goodbyes as the doctors expected only a couple of days. I spent hours with them that first day, and we visited the hospital every day till they discharged her for home hospice care. After that, we came to the house to sit and visit. Her family traveled from down south to see her and spend time by her side at their home in the woods.
I remember her son playing beautifully on the guitar as we pulled up to the house one day. He was singing softly while taking a break outside. Her father was cooking lunch on the grill. We came and sat with her and Pastor for a while, and then her son came in and played guitar for her. My heart aches to remember it, but I am also grateful to know that love and compassion.
She lived longer than the doctors expected, but by mid-August, she had passed.
One day in March 2021, I heard my wife, Susan, screaming, “NOOOOO!” I ran from my office, and she was sobbing on the phone. Her grandmother had passed.
Susan had become increasingly close to her grandmother over the past several years. We lived on opposite sides of the country. Still, my wife had called her weekly, and we made it out to visit several times since we were married, including a week a couple of years before when I was in California for a work trip, and my wife went to stay with her grandmother. This loss hit my wife hard.
Due to the pandemic, funeral plans were in limbo. The vaccine became widely available about three months later, and travel seemed more reasonable. The variants hadn’t been an issue yet, so the family felt it was safe to hold a celebration of life, and we planned to fly out with our children.
Not everything these two years was horrible, though. This trip in June was a great time with the kids. It was our last vacation before Megan’s heart attack, and we made unforgettable memories.
Susan’s grandparents were lifelong conservation supporters. They managed a chicken ranch in Southern California but came from rural Oklahoma and Nebraska. Susan’s grandfather enjoyed hunting. Major celebrities often went to the ranch to hunt in the back 40.
They supported the San Diego Zoo and Wild Animal Park through the years. They took us to Wild Animal Park the first time I met them before Susan and I were married. Even after Susan’s grandfather passed, her grandmother continued to support the conservation efforts.
So, we decided a great way to honor her life would be to visit the San Diego Zoo.
Megan loves animals. She always has. She wanted to be a vet for several years but decided she couldn’t be a vet when we had to put down the dog she grew up with due to a degenerative spinal injury. After that, her heart desired to be a zoologist. The most important thing for her is that she works with animals.
At the zoo, animals just came to see her like a Disney princess. We’d go by an enclosure that appeared empty because all the animals were in hiding. Then, they would come out of their burrows, walk up to Megan, and pose for pictures. Suddenly, there would be a crowd of people, so we’d move on to the next apparently empty enclosure.
One time, in particular, we were looking at the lions. They warmed themselves in the sun on rocks and platforms. It was a little crowded in front, so Megan and I walked to the side of the enclosure. There was a cave there with a glass divider keeping the lions in. The space was empty when we walked in and started reading one of the signs. I looked up, and a large male lion stood and walked over. He looked right at Megan and started calling. It wasn’t a roar, just some loud vocalizations over and over. If anything, it sounded like a large dog or a seal barking. All the people rushed over, and we backed away, but it was the type of fantastic experience you remember for the rest of your life.
We also made it to the beach on that trip. We went down to La Jolla. After the drive and searching for parking, we started the day at La Jolla shores and hiked up along the cliffs past the cove and around to Children’s Beach before heading back. There were sea lions all over as we went past. We stopped to take pictures, and a momma sea lion got up from her nap and started coming to us. She stopped not far from the wall we were behind, and she began calling. She sounded a lot like the lion. It was funny because she had a pup following her, so it seemed like she was asking for help with her kid. “Hey, lady, can you watch him for a bit so I can get some sleep?” Again, it was such a fantastic memory, and it felt like all the animals just had to see Megan.
Megan loves the beach as much as I do. She had so much fun playing in the surf for hours. We ate lunch at a sushi place a short walk from the shore. She doesn’t love raw fish but did enjoy some of the other offerings. Then, it was back to the water until the evening, when we had to drag her out to get dinner and head back.
That summer, Megan was also working hard to complete Algebra II as part of an online program so she could start Governor’s School in the fall. This is a prestigious program that requires application, testing, and acceptance. Less than 1% of students made it into this program, and Megan was accepted.
While many students have struggled with virtual and hybrid education since March 2020, Megan excelled. The first year of the pandemic was her last year of 8th grade. She not only did well but began helping other students. She would organize calls with her classmates, and they studied together. She did so well that the school made a new award just for her. She was awarded the first and maybe only “Best Virtual Student” award.
Megan worked hard that whole summer, and while she did get to join us for the beach and zoo, she also worked on school every other day of the vacation. She completed the course, was top in her class, and got a weekend off before starting band camp. She had volunteered for leadership and became the section leader. She was the only freshman who applied for leadership, making her the only sophomore leader in the band. She was also awarded the first chair for clarinet, and we were super proud of her.
During band camp, I took her to school every day. She worked out in the sun and heat and came home exhausted but excited to tell us what she had learned. I would take her to the park off the river behind her high school each morning, where we ate breakfast and got a short walk in before heading up to the school. We were running early one day, so I suggested we walk to the school. It’s a pretty level trail along the river, but then it crosses under the train tracks and goes uphill to the high school. Megan was struggling to keep up and breathing hard on that severe pull. She said her heart didn’t feel right.
I have some issues with my heart that were missed and ignored by doctors for years until it finally showed up on an EKG as pre-ventricular contractions, PVC. It’s scary when you don’t know what it is, and exercise stress can trigger it for me. I thought that was bothering Megan and talked with her about it.
She had commented on it several times, so Susan got her to see the doctor. After that exam, the doctor said it might be stress, considering how driven she had been, but otherwise couldn’t find anything wrong.
Megan got another weekend off, and then Governor’s School started. Again, I took her to school each morning. We could have dropped her off at her high school to catch a bus, but she got more sleep if we drove. The first day, I took her early so we could have a special breakfast at a BBQ place near the campus where the Governor’s School meets. She was excited and proud of all she had accomplished to make it that far.
Coming home each day, she told us about the new students and their plans for the year. She also complained a lot about chemistry. The class was challenging, and all the students struggled. She worried about her grades a lot.
I remember a conversation with her when she was accepted into the program. I was very proud of her but also worried about the rigor. I told her she didn’t need to do this program to make me proud. The one thing I wanted for her was to be happy. She was in tears as she told me she could only be satisfied if she tried. It would be difficult if she tried and failed, but it would be much worse if she never even tried.
So we worked with her to keep encouraging her and help her to succeed, and despite the difficulty, she was happy and excited.
The week leading up to her heart attack was a whirlwind of activity.
Megan had much fun on a field trip with her Governor’s School. There were obstacle courses and a zip line. That night, she was exhausted again but so very happy.
Memorial Day weekend, I smoked a brisket. I did the brisket on Saturday, and we had some that day, the following day, and Memorial Day.
Sunday, there was a wedding. Eight years ago, I officiated a wedding for a friend. At the time, we didn’t know them that well. They were friends of friends, but we had spent some time together with our mutual friends. The wife is from Thailand. The couple dated for years and got married in Thailand. I’ve seen the pictures. It was a beautiful wedding. When they tried getting her green card, they found they needed an American wedding. I would have been willing to sign the paperwork, but they wanted to do a ceremony, even if it was small. We did the ceremony at our house. The wisteria over the trellis between the house and garage was blooming. It made a perfect place for the wedding. My daughters were flower girls. It was another of those perfect days that deserve to be remembered forever.
A few years later, they had their first daughter. Megan went over many times to help watch the baby and learned to cook while she was there. The Thai word for sister sounds like “pee.” The little girl grew up calling Megan “pee Megan.” A couple of years ago, they had another girl, Megan, also adopted as a little sister.
I was introduced to another couple who wanted to get married through this family. The wife owns a Thai restaurant in town that we love to visit. The pandemic had messed with the wedding plans and was postponed several times. They eventually decided to have the wedding in September but kept it small.
Megan was there and helped with the girls. The older sister was a flower girl, so it was a nice little bow bringing things full circle. The wedding went well. The flower girl was adorable. Everything was decorated beautifully. We were able to have Thai food for dinner. It was another perfect day.
On Memorial Day, we relaxed at home. It was a busy weekend. We watched movies in the media room and enjoyed brisket and salad for dinner. Summer was officially over. Fall was rolling in.
This would be the last day Megan would remember for over a month.